the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
