shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
