Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
