it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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