she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
