I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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