Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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