Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.