So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.