im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
