Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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