alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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