How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
