Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
