I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
