a queef is a wish your heart makes.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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