That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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