Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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