he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
