the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
