I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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