walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
well you can't waste a boner
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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