I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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