Green mimosas i think yes
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
