I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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