Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
