Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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