All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
