have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
