bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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