I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
