Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I've blown a few things in my day
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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