honey bunches of taint.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
