Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
