i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
