My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
