It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
3 2 1 whiskey
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize