I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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