they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
you never un-have a 4some
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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