i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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