He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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