If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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