After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize
