I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
