that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
