is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
