woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize