Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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