I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Yo dont text me then not text me
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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