I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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