A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
well, you know. whores of a feather.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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