Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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