Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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