I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
