so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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