I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
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my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
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Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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