i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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