I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
