I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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