hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
