I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Randomize
