Sry I called you an 8
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
