I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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