I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
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