Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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