so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Randomize
